complicated creature

human are complicated creatures. inside and outside, we have different behaviours, looks and other elements of a human being. looking at me and being me... im one complicated girl *yes im stilla girl, an older one*. when u look at nabilah othman, u see... hey she big and she's loud. looks like a happy go lucky girl, no problem ahead of her, happy at all times, very strong and tough. is that really true? how r u so sure im like that? not everything u see is true. not everything u think is true. these days, the only thing that made me have other emotions than happy and angry, is tv shows. maybe its just that the people around me cant even trigger this feelings. Ican cry easily even with the slightest sound of sincerety in a song or a speech.

Ngeh... maybe because its on tv, its not real so it feels real to me.maybe its the kind of thing that i want to see in real life u know. haha, dare to dream man... dare to dream. maybe i just need someone to kick me in the or in the ass, either way it hurts so i could wake up from this so called fantasy. Maybe im waiting for sumthing to come? Well one thing for sure, I dont have to worry that there's something wrong with me, not 'girl' enough. like the uncle in master art say, i look like someone very loud and happy always, but cries alone or cries at people's back, not showing them the real me. come to think about it, part of it is right. hey cmon, who wants other people to see how we look like when crying... i sure do look like crap, liquids coming out from everywhere, haha. well everything happen for a reason, and recently im watching hannah montana series, and it does keep me happy, well at least it helps, hehe. oh man, i love everyone *rite~~~~*

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result... sem 1

not to brag or anything, but i dont care, its my blog. I GOT MY DEAN'S LIST!!!! WEEEEEEEEHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. first time in my life, i have this kind of thing, of course im happy. i havent got any recognition what soever in my whole life, well like this kind of course. its a thing that i dont really expect myself. but i still dont have my goal cgpa, 3.5 and above. need to get that done first. glad for myself. THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH....

p/s: i hope people dont get jealous of what i achieved for the first time in my entire life, well i did work my ass, and be aware that everyone had their chance of sumthing this good, care for them and not ourself. oh n i got another oen for sem 2. haha i dont care i want to shout it out here... MWAHAHAHAAHAH

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after raya






suppose this post is going to be a long one, but because its and old story, ill make it short and simple. well, last raya, we celebrate it in palembang. got to see my preety cousins, at first i though maybe i'll get intimidated or uncomfortable, 'lepaking' with really good looking cousins whre everyone would interested in them and leave me behind and whATever shit. but no, because its me. i know i can handle myself, with myself that i dont really care about all those nonsense. IM GOOD ENOUGH ALREADY. so dont mess with me, yeah~! well we have lots of fun and tired also, get the food ready for the family for raya and also for people coming to the house. im proud of myself of being quite hardworking, doing 'girl' jobs. well like i mention, being all good from the outside doesnt work all the time. i know where i stand and i sure make people feel good and happy by helping them with all the works. i'm already complete, by being me, nabilah. well i did have fun just being with my family and all, even some people got mad at me at times. well thats life right. we just have to go on with anything in our life to survive.

p/s: i got duit raya, well more like one duit raya. RP 100 000, like rm50 like that, haha


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Assignments and Holiday. hehe

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Assignments!!!! Oh my god it's like coming over n over again like the niagra falls. Another one and all will end!!! weel onlu for this sem. Maybe next semester I'm going to take one subject up coz if not, I think I will die with all the assignments in semester 3. Its like double up!!!!!

I think my only hope subject of getting A is ruined. MPD plz stay with me.. uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

O well, hope everything would be well with exams and all.
Oh and one thing, Raya is coming and I'm freaking excited to go to Indonesia!!!! but maybe, and its a big possibility.. that I wont have any duit raya. wuuuuu they wont give any. But its ok. its the thought of hari raya that counts rite? *smiling hopingly at the corner of the room*

And one thing. Selamat hari raya everyone!!!!!

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hypocrite

same conversation
same topic
no difference
no changes
no effort
all talk
what's the point of talking with u then
no life

i think it's better for me to talk to myself
coz i think u r being the same as ur talking
isnt that what u called hypocrite?

cmon, and again, get a life.
(to some other people, plz n thank you)

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my lost is for my strength

assalamualaikum

its ramadhan
staying in hostel
indonesia just have their earthquake
scared for my parents n my brother
a student just passed away
and one thing for sure
i keep saying about my late MOM
i think this is the first time i'm more open about her
to my trusted friends
maybe i just missed her.
like a lot more than i used to
time to get emotional

month of ramadhan.
the holliest month ever.

God plz give me strength to face my lost
i can survive the moment i get the news
i can survive for all this years
its been almost seven years this 13 december
and almost seven years this 5 ramadhan

Al-Fatihah utk IBU ngan TUK NAB.
moga roh ibu ngan atuk dicucuri rahmat.
amin


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dunno why

dunno why.
suddenly, I remember
I remember the things that u did to me
the things that make me realize
that I can't make people happy all the time
the times that I've went through
all because of u
all the thoughts,
all the feelings,
making me the bad person

dunno why
but I'm just gonna see u
the way it is since then.
whatever feelings I have towards u
now I thought it's just a waste
u will still be u
no changes

but still,
I will think of u as a change in my life
sometimes even think of u as just an a**hole
feel like being used
only when u think u need someone
that's when I'm there
treat me normally
as a friend
not an object
or just an acquaintance
think of me as a person
with feelings
and have a life

dunno why,
but I don't think u realize
that u should have one
please realize
not only for me
or the people around u
but also for u

urself

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